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You Live and You Learn: Things I Would Tell My 16 Year Old Self

It’s funny how many people still think I’m a teenager. I often get asked what college I go to and what I will be doing for my 21st birthday. I guess people see my 2006 episode of My Super Sweet 16 (can’t believe I’m doing this…but for those of you who haven’t seen it, you can watch here) and assume that it was only a couple of years ago instead of almost a decade ago. Although I thoroughly enjoyed being a teenager, I’m happy to be older, more mature, wiser, and a better person all around than I was at 16. Personal growth is the name of the game and I am proud of how much I have grown in the last 9 years. While I may look almost the same, I am, for the most part, a different person now and at times I wish I could go back and tell my 16 year old self things I have learned over the years.

Celebrating my 24th birthday in 2014

Celebrating my 16th birthday in 2006

There are three things I would tell my 16 year old self if I could go back and whisper a few words of wisdom in her ear. The first is that life will always go on. There are so many things I thought were so important as a teenager that really had no impact on my life whatsoever. That boy that left me heart broken after he moved away wasn’t meant to be my husband and I don’t even keep in touch with most of the girls who I would’ve once dropped everything for. I honestly don’t even remember half of the pointless drama that happened in high school (or even in college at this point). If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that most of the things that seem so important won’t even matter a few years down the line, so don’t sweat the small stuff (and only sweat half of the stuff that seems big).

The second thing I would tell my 16 year old self is that experiences are more valuable than things. Remember that car I wanted so bad for my 16th birthday? I traded it in a few years later and I currently don’t even have a car (what good is it to have two vehicles when my husband and I aren’t even home most of the year??). If I could go back, I would tell teenage me to ask for a gift that would provide memories that  I would cherish for a lifetime as opposed to something material. An opportunity to meet one of my role models. A trip to Europe. Lunch with my favorite fashion designer. Those are all things that, looking back, would have meant far more to me in the long run than a car.

The third (and arguable most important) thing I would tell my 16 year old self is not to take so much for granted. I am embarrassed to even admit this, but when I was 17, my parents hosted a reception at my house for Maya Angelou. Although they begged me to attend, I blew off the opportunity to meet her because I had plans with my friends. How dumb was I?! I would tell young Allison that no matter what she thinks, the world does not revolve around her and her social life. I would urge her to value the opportunities she is given and the time that she has with the important people in her life. I can’t tell you how many times I cancelled plans with my family because I had something “more important” to do. When my dad passed away in 2011, I realized just how important it is to appreciate family and spend time with them while you can. There are moments I wish I could have back, but in life, you never get a re-do, and I would want my 16 year old self to be well aware of that when she makes decisions.

My daddy and me on my 16th birthday

If I had known all of the things that I know now at 16, there would have been no room for growth and maturation, which are necessary to become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. I hope I will continue to learn important lessons so that down the line, I can look back and reflect on the things my 40 year old self wishes I had known now at 24. I’m a work in progress and the best is yet to come.

What are some important life lessons that you know now that you wish you had known as a teenager? Take a second to reflect and feel free to comment. I would love to hear from you!

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