A year and some change into my marriage, one of the things that I’ve learned is that it is so important to make friends with other couples. Although most of my closest friends are single (i.e. not married), I’ve grown to cherish the relationships that my husband and I have with other couples. While my best friends will never be replaced just because they are taking their time to tie the knot (as they should – we are still young and there is absolutely no rush), there is something extra special about the friendships that we have established with other husband and wife duos. Here’s why I think married couples should form relationships with other couples:
Being the third wheel and/or having a third wheel is awkward. I’m always the first to invite a single friend to tag along somewhere with my husband and me. I figure that we live together and see each other daily, so having another person with us for a change will be nice. But, unless it’s family, in actuality, it’s awkward for everyone involved. No one wants to be the third wheel and while I don’t think it will be weird, it always is. The whole dynamic of the outing changes and someone feels left out (either my husband if I’m spending more time having girl talk with my friend or my friend if my husband and I are holding hands and doing normal husband and wife things). No matter how hard I try to make it OK, it’s awkward.
Double dates never get old! We love double dates and no matter how old we get, they are always fun. There’s something about sharing an experience with another couple that is always enjoyable. It allows for both couples to feel like they are doing something social while still spending time with their significant others. The ultimate double date is a couple’s trip. We love traveling with other couples because it’s the best of both worlds. It’s a girl’s or boy’s trip and a baecation all wrapped up in one. Other couples understand that we may want to have some alone time and are totally OK with it because they want to have some lovey-dovey time as well. At the same time, the boys can go off and do boy things while the ladies have a spa day or lounge on the beach. It’s a win-win!
Other couples understand us. I am not one to really ask friends for relationship advice (that’s another post for another day), but one of the things I learned early on in my marriage is not to ask single people for marital advice at all. Other couples understand what we deal with as married people and can offer words of wisdom from a married perspective. Further, in the world of professional sports, it is crucial to become friends with other couples in the field. No matter how much I explain or how many questions I answer, my friends outside of this world will never fully comprehend what it’s like to be married to a professional athlete and the stressors that accompany it. For example, having another wife to vent to and go to for advice really goes along way when my husband has a bad game and I don’t know what to say or when we’re moving for the umpteenth time because he got a new contract in a new city or country. I’ll always appreciate being able to attend my husband’s games with another wife who is cheering on her man as well. We have found that friendships that we form with my husband’s teammates and their significant others are relationships that last a lifetime because they truly understand and can relate to our experience.
When we do hang out with our single friends, it is SO nice not to be the only married person. Because of our age, both my husband and I still spend a great deal of time with our single friends and we love the relationships that we have with them. Still, when I go out with my single friends, it’s so nice to have another wife tag along so that I am not the only married person in the crew. Even though people don’t usually realize it, it can be lonely being the only married person in a group full of singles. Having a married buddy provides support and accountability. When all of my single girlfriends are dancing with their prospects, my married friend and I can still have fun dancing with each other. When my husband’s single friends are asking women for their numbers, he and his married friend can converse amongst themselves without feeling awkward and left out. Couples don’t always have to go out with each other and we both enjoy a night out with our friends every now and then, but it’s always more enjoyable when we aren’t the only married person in the group.
Our families become family. As we prepare to start families of our own, we appreciate having close relationships with other married people because we know our families will become family. We are all planning to have kids one day, and it’s exciting to know that they will all be within a few of years of one another and can grow up together. We look forward to our couples trips turning into joint family trips and we are so excited to one day experience the joys and pains of parenting together.
I love my single friends, but, frankly, sometimes my married friends just understand me and my experiences a little bit better. It doesn’t mean that I love or appreciate my single friends any less – I just understand that there are things that they can do that I cannot and that, in some ways, we are at very different places in our lives. My husband and I love meeting and befriending other young couples who appreciate the sanctity of marriage while still enjoying life in their 20s and looking forward to the journey ahead.
Do you think it’s important for couples to be friends with other couples? I would love to hear your opinion.
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