During my wedding last August, I ended my personal vows to my groom by promising that I would always dream with him. I truly believe (as I’m sure most wives do) that there is nothing my husband and I cannot accomplish together, and we take the time to deliberately discuss the things we aspire to achieve, both as a family and individually. We try are hardest to be what I like to call a goal digging couple.
Urban Dictionary defines a “goal digger” as someone who “desires wealth in all areas of life, seeks the secrets of the millionaire mind, and has the smarts, optimism, integrity, and passion to do it themselves.” Goal digging couples have an advantage in that they too desire wealth in all areas of life, but they are not in it alone. Setting goals together helps couples to fortify their relationships, improves communication by giving each person a chance to openly discuss not only his or her personal dreams, but also the vision he or she has for their marriage and family, heightens motivation by allowing each person to hold the other accountable, and provides satisfaction and reason to celebrate when goals are accomplished (and you know I’m a firm believer that couples should celebrate everything) (Tristian Coopersmith; www.sheknows.com). Whether aspirations involve career, spirituality, finances, sexuality, health and fitness, relationship, travel, charity, or family, it is important to take the time to discuss them with your spouse and plan them jointly in order to enhance intimacy. Being willing to share your dreams and ambitions with another person takes trust. Being willing to involve that person in the very development of these goals takes that trust to a whole-nother level.
In one of my public relations courses in college, I learned about the importance of setting SMART goals. SMART goals are Significant, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-sensitive. Couples should make sure that each goal passes the SMART test and prioritize which goals will be given the most amount of immediate attention. It’s important to write them down (I utilize the notes app on my phone) and discuss a specific action-plan for how they will be achieved together, while also remaining flexible and realizing that certain goals may require reevaluation and modification.
My husband and I stayed up late one night a few months ago in Italy talking about where we saw ourselves as individuals and as a couple over the next few years and what we hoped to accomplish. This conversation reconfirmed for each of us why we fell in love in the first place, showed us that we are still on the same page in what we want our of life, and got us back on track. Some of the goals we set were as follows:
Have at least $XXXXX in savings by May 2016.
Travel to all 7 continents before Allison’s 30th birthday.
Launch the JetJones Foundation and have inaugural event by August 2015.
DeQuan: Improve 3-point shot percentage in 2015-2016 basketball season.
Allison: Establish LiveLifeWell as a well-known lifestyle blog and brand within 3 years of launch.
Although these are by no means all of our goals and a lot of them are still works in progress, we revisit them frequently and are active in ensuring that they are accomplished. I go to the gym with DJ and he allows me to bounce blog topics and ideas off of him (and serves, along with my mom, as my official OOTD photographer), so even our individual goals involve each other. I am proud to share that we achieved one of our goals. This goal is near and dear to our hearts as we first discussed the possibility when we first started dating in college. We officially launched the JetJones Foundation and hosted our inaugural event, the First Annual JetJones Foundation Party for a Purpose this past weekend. While the best is yet to come for our foundation and we still have quite a lot of work to do, it reaffirmed my belief that there is nothing we can’t accomplish together. In true “celebrate everything” fashion, we will be celebrating our achievement this week in the Grand Cayman Islands.
I will be sure to keep you all posted on where we are with our other goals, and if you need some help starting the process of setting goals with your honey, check out the “Love Well” board on LiveLifeWell’s Pinterest.
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