I hear a lot of people say that it’s not healthy to have secrets in marriage. While I think this has a lot of truth to it, the topic always makes me sit back and consider the things that I do keep from my husband. The truth is, I don’t tell him absolutely everything and I don’t think that he would want me to. Some secrets can definitely destroy a marriage and most things should be shared openly and honestly, but it’s OK to keep these 3 things from your spouse:
3 Secrets It’s OK to Keep from Your Spouse
Surprise plans: It’s absolutely acceptable to plan surprises for your spouse and do everything you can to keep it a surprise. Surprise parties, trips, and gifts should be kept a secret – and chances are, when you’re significant other finds out why you’ve been sneaking around, he’ll be totally understanding and appreciative of your efforts. I planned my husband a surprise party for his 25th birthday and got quite a few side eyes from him when I would close my computer when he walked into the room. The party was a hit and he had a blast. He quickly understood why I had been acting strangely and said it was totally worth being kept out of the loop.
Your friends’ secrets: One thing that you can without a doubt keep from your spouse are your friends’ secrets. If you are told something in confidence by someone that trusts you and it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your spouse, it’s honestly not your place to share it, not even with the person that you trust the most in the world. Your BFFs shouldn’t have to worry that your spouse will know all their business. Keeping your friends’ secrets doesn’t make you a bad wife – it just makes you a good friend.
Intimate details from your past relationships: I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me on this one, but there is no reason that your spouse needs to know the intimate details of your past relationships. What you did (or didn’t do) with your last boyfriend, how many times, and how good (or bad) it was is something that you might want to keep to yourself. I’ve found that sharing these details often causes more harm than good and you’re not just sharing your own personal business, but you’re also sharing something personal about someone that you (probably) once cared about. Chances are, your spouse doesn’t honestly want (or need) to hear about it anyway.
What do you think it’s acceptable to keep from your spouse?
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The Thursday Three
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